My Life on Earth

I caught myself catching myself think, feeling that aftermath of so much alien and the intimacy it becomes.

The intimacy of lovemaking is an outward emptying. But this door swings both ways. We can disappear on the road that leads outside by turning around to retrace the steps to where we set out from.

There is a knowing that comes of not comprehending what keeps us going and there is a going of our understanding that leaves us knowing.

I tried to tell you, but was lost in the experience of explaining. All this time, I was living between the moments you glimpsed. I have been the fingers that held what was to be tasted, I was the touch on the spoon before the mouthful, the moment between the songs, the anticipation between the tracks. I was every possibility not yet covered by what was going to be.

Sometimes I imagine my dad on his early morning meanderings under the stars and feel the moments he knows better than himself—the humble grace we hold when facing eternity in this mortal skin. What does eternity wear to face us?

Sometimes I find his father in a sentiment, not knowing the details but touching the tapered whisper of truth breezing by the open windows of this mind.

The more I lose myself in the world the more I find myself in these words—the avenues and alleys my heart had to learn to save this body from being abandoned to the galore of it all.

I hear what they say and I know what you do and I know I am one of everyone too. My guide is a foreigner to all that. I follow the child who doesn’t understand the game of pitch and toss and gain and loss but knows how to run in sunshine and dance in rain. If you see me wandering from room to room, from stage to state, it’s because I’m looking for the exit. I’m taking my time and enjoying the company on the carousel, but this is not a carnival where anyone ever wins. This is a game where you pay with your life if you don’t learn to play at trying to understand what you mean to say.

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If you like this, I’d love for you to check out my latest poetry release, “All the Beloved Known Things”